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Lesser Men with Spades
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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Princess Bunnikins, Angel of Doom's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 12th, 2012
8:51 am
Red Tails, F*** Yeah!!!
F-list, you have let me down. I didn't even know this movie existed, despite containing

- a mostly-black cast, including
- Original Movie Rhoadey
- a bunch of other fiiiine actor dudes (in uniforms!)
- trailers containing EXPLOSIONS! someone going (basically) "Boo-yah, take that, Hitler!" DOGFIGHTS! (did I mention the EXPLOSIONS?) and sniffly inspirational bits

and and and

Lee Tergesen as some sort of Token White Dude.
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011
1:06 pm
...because math is sexy, and sometimes evil?
So I went and saw Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. And it was awesome and OMG squee and made of fanservice although with tooth-grinding problematic elements, mostly in terms of female characters. Duh; what else is new.

And it's almost vacation and I'm haunting the kinkmeme, and I seem to have suddenly become a relatively prolific filler for my OTP...Moriarty/Moran. Huh.
Wednesday, May 25th, 2011
9:24 am
That storm god you all praise
The recent Marvel Thor movie isn't based on the myths. And it seems to me a bit like an homage to Mikal the Ram's "Loki's song."

"When that storm god you all praise
Walks the earth and shatters trees
You huddle close beside my gift
Whisper prayers beside my spit
And as the woodsmoke turns and twists
You owe your lives to sly Loki."

In the movie Thor's willingness to fight without considering the consequences gets other people hurt and nearly traps the cosmos in a costly war.

In myth, Thor fights Jotuns. That's what Thor does. That's what we need Thor to do. Without his protection from destructive chaos, human society can't function. And Thor grants us rain for our crops and Thor's lightning bolts grant fertility to the soil. But Thor's battles can easily harm innocent bystanders.

In the movie I wanted Thor to learn how to live without his hammer. Without fighting. To find another way to be a hero.

In myth Thor is successful in his adventures only with Loki's help. Loki doesn't fight. Loki tricks and adapts.

There are some things we can't fight. And many times when fighting doesn't help. When it only perpetuates a cycle of violence, of conflict, of might making rules.

We can't fight storms. We have to learn to live with them. Most environmental problems aren't things we can "fight." Global climate change is an example. We have been, and are, part of the problem. And we have to be part of the solution, too. Anger won't help us. Grief and regret won't either. Guilt and shame are useless and harmful. We just have to get to work. Building. Adapting. Thinking in new ways and learning again to respect the forces of water, wind, heat...

We need Thor's tenacity. We need Loki's talents, his abilities. To worry less about honor and more about effectiveness. Less about striking the enemy and more about becoming a new thing, as a way to avoid the old conflict.
Monday, May 23rd, 2011
4:31 pm
Dear norsekinksters
Give me Sif as Asgard's queen
Good or evil or in-between

Give me a Loki who loves himself
Who owns the legacy of his birth

Give me a Jane who wants no man
Canoodling with Darcy in the back of the van

Give me a Thor who loses his might
And learns that not all heroes fight

And while you're at it, maybe a white Heimdall?
In an Asgard full of black Aesir?
(Couldn't think of a good rhyme there.)

Hugs and kisses,
Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
12:15 pm
The Warder, The Bright Lord, and..other stuff...
So I recently finished reading The Broken Kingdoms.

I have this to say about the experience:


But aside from that I have a few other thoughts.

1. I still wish I knew more about Shahar Arameri.

2. I don't understand at all (and maybe this is due to poor reading comprehension?) why the reigning Sky-Father allowed the Arameri to conquer the world in his name yet remake Him in their image. Then again the more I think about it, the gods don't seem overly concerned with having their history represented, so I guess being whitewashed wouldn't necessarily be a bit deal? Hmmm...

3. I also recently saw Thor, and a general cross-pollination thing is happening in my brain where I imagine Heimdall (the god, not the comic/movie character) looking perhaps a bit like Idris Elba, but more like Bright Itempas. Who would not be played by Idris Elba if I were casting the movie. Hmmm, I wonder if anyone has drawn up a dream cast.
Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
12:58 am
Boooooooks!!! NOMNOMNOM!
My wonderful brother got me a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble for my birthday. I have managed to translate this into five books. It took me way too long, because I was trying to use the most of it without going over, but then I said screw it and paid a few extra bucks and yay!

One of these books is a sequel. It's...The Broken Kingdoms. Since The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms sort of ate my brain, I'm pencilling in some time away from humanity to swallow this one whole after it arrives.

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, January 6th, 2011
3:25 pm
Please bear with the new AtLA fan
Sozin: *Is a Fire Nation supremecist with narcissistic tendencies*
Roku: *Has a duty as the Avatar to talk him the fuck down*
Sozin: Blahblah share our peace and prosperity by conquering the hell out of everyone else...
Roku: No, no, no! Infinite Diversity in Indefinite Combination!
Sozin: Huh?
Roku: Other places are not improved by being forced to be more like this place. Other people are not improved by being forced to be more like you. I love you, but that doesn't mean your way of being awesome is the only way...
Sozin: You love me?
Roku: Right, and if everyone in the world were more like you, then you'd be less unique and that wouldn't...
Sozin: Like, how?
Roku: What?
Sozin: Do you love me like a brother, or...
Roku: I love you more than anyone else on earth. I always have. And I kind of thought the feeling was mutual, what with the hereditary irreplaceable meaningful hair trinket...
Sozin: So it wouldn't be detrimental to our friendship if I told you I wanted to get you naked, lock the door to my private quarters, and not come out until I've tasted every inch of your body?
Roku (having a little trouble breathing evenly): No. Not at all. Quite the contrary. Now, I really want to explain why balance and diversity - mmmmph!
Sozin: *shuts him up the old fashioned way*
Sozin: *never does really learn anything about respecting other cultures*
Sozin's desire to conquer anything outside of Roku's pants: *is greatly diminished*
Slashers: *are pleased*
The World: *really dodges a bullet, and never knows*
1:19 pm
Random Stuff
Today is not so bad. My grandmother got me and the kids a few months of YMCA membership for Christmas, and today we went and they had a great time. I didn't do much, just checked out the place and got out a yoga mat and stretched and then rode a bike for a while. But it was awesome and I feel healthier already and I want to go all the time.

When I went into the fitness center they were playing Pink Floyd. "Young Lust," specifically. Nice and all, but I forgot the end of the song has that phone bit, so I thought it was the intercom and worried they were trying to page me about the kids. Heh.

Kid Sparky is all into watching stuff streaming on the Wii. There is a lot of 80s stuff. We have done Care Bears and Land Before Time and moved onto She-Ra. I never watched She-Ra back then, but it is waaaay better than Care Bears, so I am all for it.
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
5:19 pm
Worst Day Ever Lately
I am having my worst day in a very long time.

ETA: So it was mostly bad for mental health reasons, with general physical feeling crappy thrown in too. Now my grandmother's in the hospital and we're out of milk. Bleh.
Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
11:26 pm
Heroine Addiction
I got a Dreamwidth account (thanks, lady_drace!) and I was thinking about userpics, and I thought I would like to have a big set of Heroine Addict icons with all my favorite awesome POC ladies. Some of these I already have or know they exist, but most I've never seen before and I need them. Anyway, here's my wish list:

Star Trek DS9:
Capt. Yates (already have one, not opposed to more, and I really want one for AU Cass from Far Beyond the Stars)
Jennifer Sisko?
Molly O'Brien?

Star Trek TOS:

Star Trek Reboot:

Stargate Atlantis:

Disney Animated Ladies:


Space: Above and Beyond:
Lt. Damphousse



Avatar (aka Pocahontas in Space...in 3D)

(side note: you know what sucked about that show? Just about everything. You know what mostly didn't, as I recall? The Hoshi/T'Pol fic.)

OMGOMG, I can't believe I almost forgot...

Strange Days:

Lone Star:
The soldier who's name I can't currently remember (?)

Pirates of the Caribbean:
Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
9:43 am
Movies!!! Wheeee!!!
So tyrs_adherent got Netflix streaming on the Wii. Mostly we have been using it for kids' stuff, but I am very excited by the possibilities.

Also we will be going (tonight!) to see TRON at the IMAX.

Also also, I hope my mom will go with me to see The Tempest.

And my mom won us free babysitting in a raffle, so maybe we can catch something else. True Grit? I dunno what's out that good.

Note to self: Justice League: The New Frontier is much, much less appropriate for 4-yr-olds than viewing of other other Justice League movies might lead one to believe. No nightmares so far, as far as he has let us know.

Current Mood: relaxed
Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
10:43 am
10:32 am
There's never enough lack of Jesus around here.
It's almost Yule. And almost Christmas. And my family celebrates Christmas, a traditional, basically secular but nonetheless holy seasonal holiday involving a tree with ornaments and presents underneath and cookies and candles and stockings and occasional snow, and that's fine.

My mom goes to church and listens about Jesus and hope and reaching out the less fortunate, which of course my parents spend a lot of time doing, because my mom is a pretty hardcore about living like Jesus and being known by your fruits, and my dad is too except with considerably less Jesus and possibly more Ghandi on occasion.

And I guess we will be experiencing the New England version of UU Christmas. Which thus far seems to be a lot like the Arizona version, but with a lot more use of the word "God" and fewer confrontations with Sheriff Arpaio.

I would like to go to a real pagan Yule ritual. There seems to be one at dawn at a nearby beach, and there are other options too, although fewer when you wait til the last minute, d'oh. Of course I can theoretically just observe at home, but in practice it's crowded and there's too much Jesus. Not much at all, really. Just, like, a manger scene, which is not up yet, and an Advent calendar which is, but it just has happy snow-persons on it, and contains chocolate.

So there's way more Santa than Jesus, and way more crystals and candles and pine boughs than either, so clearly my side is winning the culture war. I wouldn't expect otherwise now that I understand that my mom is very much into traditional foods and candles and colors and songs, and not particularly opposed to smells, bells, or (tasteful) light displays. My dad is opposed to wasting electricity on merriment, and I could sort of see the point except that merriment is totally not a waste.

So anyway, all that description is beside the point, which is that I don't want "The story of Christmas" and "my little book of God" getting proffered to my kids as often as they do. Even though it's not very much. And the kids are growing up UU and our church is all for (non-divine) Jesus. Among other things. That's the problem, or part of it. Even a little Jesus is a lot more than the total lack of other stuff we have right now. (We do have some lovely Tanakh-story picture books that my mom "borrowed" from her defunct church library. That doesn't count as much on the diversity front, though. I mean, really "Jewish and Christian teachings" is pretty reductive of both traditions, but I'd agree that it only amounts to one source, and we are sadly lacking in 5 additional sources. Or most of five. I guess we have science, if chiefly in the form of dinosaurs at present.)

So it's totally my job to make with the alternate sources, but it'd would be easier of we weren't living in this Christian(ish?) household. Cuz then I feel like I could wait til the kids were older. (At least old enough to not rip books! Gah!) It's not that my mother pushes her beliefs on us. But even just taking them for a walk has the added weight of the surrounding cultural default, and every experience large and small with people who do proselytize. Who do think their religion deserves more recognition, more respect, more freedom than anyone else's.

I don't think my mom gets that at all. It shows through in other things she does, where she just assumes that her view of institutions and standards of behavior is universal, or if not universal, applies to us because we're in close proximity. Like she assumes that families are close and want to spend time together and will go out their way to do so. Which is fine to assume of her own family. And in direct contradiction to documented reality and related emotional traumas when applied to the in-laws. And it's really hard to get her to grasp that.

And my blindspot, I guess, is that I'm always a little surprised by it. I want to expect better from these liberal people who raised me, with their international experiences and friends. I feel like a large part of who I've grown up to be is an extension of how they raised me. And it's true, but I guess I overlook the part where I grew and changed a lot, whereas mostly they stayed where they were because they were adults who'd done a lot of growing and changing to get to that point. And that ties into a related point about how being back in this town makes it hard to remember that people I know don't really know the me of the past 12 years well, if at all.
Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
1:09 pm
It's possible that steampunk, some variety of it, is a think I've wanted, dreamed of, thirsted for, forever.

I didn't think I would like the kind of music Tricky Pixie describe themself as being. And sometimes I don't, but mostly I do.

So maybe this is like that, and labels have led me astray.

Because here http://www.tor.com/blogs/2010/10/towards-a-steampunk-without-steam Amal El-Mohtar says,

"I want to see Ibn Battuta offered passage across the Red Sea in a solar-powered flying machine of fourteenth-century invention..." and I want that too.

It's the sort I thing I recognize the wanting of, and having of, and knowing, in the best of DS9, and AtLA. Not to mention every children's folktale book I've pored over, as a schoolkid and now with my kids, that leads to learning the names and shapes and histories and magics of a wonderful, wide world. Sundiata's court, Suriyothai's army, Matoaka's exiled wisdom...(hmmm, more historical than folktales, those. Well, same section of the libary, beautiful pictures...)

I don't think I want to write that. Not usually. Although I tend to want it creeping in around the edges of any/every fandom I've been in. Athosian worldbuilding for its own sake has that vibe. And telling Tonga's story. All his stories. And Jasmine's and Naveen's and all the ones where dark and doughty pirate ladies, or restaurant empresses, win the love of crazy mermaids.

Still, whether it's on kinkmemes or on movie screens or in libraries and bookstores from sea to shining sea, I'm not yearning to bear that fruit. Only to love it, to find it, to share it. Support all the brilliant creators who embiggen all worlds. Truth and imagination are both more multifaceted than the mainstream of anything ever seems to allow.

No conclusion to the rambling. Just, hey, gotta read more of that. And maybe, somewhere, how can I make a living, or at least a productive hobby, out of what I love?
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
3:03 pm
Running meditation
...and out here in the damp dark
the slippery dark
the old, cold dark,
all else recedes.

I am breath
I am flesh
I am a dream of shelter...
Monday, September 13th, 2010
10:06 am
...and this is my beautiful city
I've ridden the T into Boston twice since I've been back, and ridden around on Comm Ave. and a few other places. It's full of people with different skin and hair and clothes and languages and music and food. This is a good thing.

My hometown isn't flat-out white as it was when I grew up, but it still seems freakily so. I go lots of places with my blond moppets where they are surrounded by a sea of other blond and red-headed moppets. Not that many places, but that pretty much never happens in Phoenix or Boston or Malden...Maybe it's just my parents' neighborhood?

I hate driving in Boston, and I can't believe how much life costs, but there's so much great stuff. At home it's freaky running into people who knew me as a half-formed schoolkid.

Current Mood: busy
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
6:09 pm
(probably no real spoilers, but don't say I didn't warn you.)

We went to see Inception, and my first and possibly last reaction is:

Holy fucking shit, that was fantastically awesome!
A future classic, sez me.

I didn't expect, based on the previews and other people's reviews, to feel that way. I thought it would be good but not necessarily something I would enjoy. Many of the things I like about it were similar to things I like about Strange Days (which I LOVE), even though they aren't particularly similar movies overall.

I want some fanfiction. Arthur/Eames especially.

We saw it in the IMAX cinema in Jordan's Furniture, and when we were walking out, the lady next to us quipped, "Is this reality?" Jordan's Furniture does seem a lot more like a dream-up place than most places I've been. ("And we were in this theatre...inside a reeallly big furniture store... with a trapeze in it, and a waterfall...I don't know why, dreams don't have to make sense!") Then on the way home I went past two very similar-looking Dunkin Donuts stores in quick succession, and then saw a guy who looked from the back like someone I knew in New Mexico. That just made me feel more like I needed to be kicked awake.

Everyone in this movie looked quite sexy. I think it was the sharp-looking suits?

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
10:59 pm
Avatar: The Last Airbender
The boy and I just watched Book 1, Volume 1. Of course we are enraptured. I think, "Holy shit that is awesome, how could anyone possible fuck it up?" yet I have it on good authority that Shyamalan and co. have done exactly that.

So much awesome. Wheeee!

Current Mood: happy
Monday, May 24th, 2010
7:25 am
Fannish nuttery, Holmes etc.
I think Sherlock Homes fandom (mainly moviverse, mainly H/W, but not only) might eat my brain. It's weird, like diving back into past fandom experiences. I've read some things that reminded me of dargelos's Rough Trade. And other bits that give off echos of SGA at it's best.

Also, meta. Glorious meta. And vids. And vid-related meta. Extensive discussions colonialism. And sporks directly in the heart.

The movie is plain awesomesauce fanservice, but it is sending me down a rabbit hole of angst. This is a fandom where even if you purposely stay in fluffy denial-land (and I do like to, kinkmeme whatwhat) you run smack up against towering angst.

Because mental illness and addiction, yeah, and also, you know massive societal prejudice and persecution. Maybe there's a way to channel those awful feelings for the good of humanity. Like fighting harder against the Family Research Council et al so I have feel I have a right to enjoy more fluff? Why are there people who want every day to be that one segment from Century Hotel?

Current Mood: confused
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
2:28 am
Movies cont'd
It might be strange_selkie's fault, because her post solicited the link of astoundingly fabulous Sherlock Holmes slash that led to me finally watching the movie.

I had been trying. When the housemate came to live with us, ze let it slip that ze was into fanfic, and we got into Sherlock Holmes slash, and were mutually excited. But then Mr. Sparky kept wanting to go see the movie at times when I needed to be asleep.

And then we bought the Blu-Ray, but the children kept aspiring against it.

But then tonight I watched it, and it was everyting I dreamed of and more. (No, rami, I don't think the plot makes any sense, although as a pagan scientist I kinda dug it, insofar as I could follow it.) It was a movie composed almost entirely of fanservice. It was beautiful.
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